Miraculously, Cuchulainn had passed the written test, but the uncle was still horrified by the idea of him behind a wheel. They awaited the driving instructor, both of them anxious for their own reasons.
Cuchulainn was mostly just impatient. “How much monies will you spend on my vehicle, Uncle?”
“Let’s just teach you how to actually drive, first,” said the uncle. “You can’t possibly expect me to just hand you your own car.”
“But I am bored of driving yours!”
“You’re not supposed to be driving at all! Oh my god, I don’t want to think about it.”
The instructor pulled up in an old AMC Gremlin and waved hello. He got out and started to give them his spiel. Cuchulainn interjected.
“Yes, but where is our vehicle?”
The instructor gestured at the Gremlin. “This is it.”
“Absolutely not,” said Cuchulainn. “I am exercising my veto.”
“You don’t have a veto, Cuchulainn!” said the uncle. “Just get in the car.”
“I will never!” Cuchulainn cried. “You are lucky I do not take my hammer to this thing!”
“Your hammer?” said the instructor.
“If I am seen in that vehicle we will take legal action!”
“No!” said the uncle.
“And then I will end my life,” said Cuchulainn. “Is that what you want?”
“Then I guess you’re not getting your licence,” said the instructor.
“What use is a licence if people think me a tasteless ne’er-do-well?”
“No one will think anything,” said the uncle. “It literally says driving school on the car.”
Cuchulainn snatched the keys. “This is a disgrace.”
“Atta boy.”
He got into the Gremlin and put the key in the ignition. “I am driving it into the lake!”
“Wait!” said the instructor.
But Cuchulainn was racing off already. The uncle hung his head.
The instructor was hysterical. “We have to stop him!”
“It’s ok,” said the uncle. “I know where to find him.”
“You do?”
“This isn’t our first car in the lake.”