In Cuchulainn's mind, everyone trusted people in fluorescent safety vests. With that, and having finagled himself some traffic cones, the trap was set. He blew his whistle and directed drivers past his bogus diversion. No one questioned his authority. A few families even thanked him. He was worried he would succumb to the heat, and nearly did, but then he finally saw the truck.
“What's this about?” said the driver.
“It is a regular, commonplace, routine check,” said Cuchulainn. “Now, I say! Your licence for the vehicle.”
“I just don't understand why you’d need to see it.”
Cuchulainn stepped up to the window and poked his head in. “This will do. Very nice.”
“What!” The driver got his back up. “I'm gonna need to see some ID myself before I show you anything!”
“Will you calm down!” said Cuchulainn.
“No! Who the hell are you?”
“I will be reporting your attitude, you know.”
“To who? Why are you the only guy here?”
“Licence!” Cuchulainn took a chance at opening the door. It was unlocked.
“Get the hell out of here!”
“I said calm down!” He was now in the passenger seat. He breathed in the truck’s scent. “Wonderful!”
“Kid, I don’t know what you think you're -”
Cuchulainn took another chance and reached over to open the driver's door. “Do not make me unbuckle your little seat belt.”
The driver made a call on his phone. Cuchulainn kicked it out of his hand onto the road.
“Hey! What the -”
“Calm down!” Cuchulainn did, indeed, unbuckle the man's seat belt and then gently kicked him out of the cabin, too.
The driver got his bearings and stood up but Cuchulainn shut the door in his face.
“You must calm down!” he said again. “This is a routine check!”
The driver pounded at the door. Cuchulainn pushed him through the window onto his ass again. He watched as Cuchulainn drove away.
“Thank you! Thank you!” he could hear him saying.
“Oh my god!” said the driver.
The truck ran over the cones and Cuchulainn blew his whistle.
“Calm down!”