October 28, 2024
/

Enter the Red Hound

Cuchulainn caught another boy jaywalking and chased him down. 

“I say, halt!” he called out. “You dare insult our roads?”

“Eh?” said the boy. “Is that you, Cuchulainn?”

“No!” 

“Why are you wearing a bandanna?” The boy examined him.

Cuchulainn ignored this. “You must cross at the light!”

“It’s all the way over there!” 

“Unacceptable!” Cuchulainn revealed some handcuffs. “You are to come with me.”

“You're not a cop!” The boy backed away. “Aren’t you like sixteen?”

“I can apprehend you at any age!” Cuchulainn shouted. “And deliver you to justice!”

“There aren’t even any cars out.”

“It is the law! And the principle!” 

The boy shrugged. “Bro, I see you cut across this street every day!”

“Do not compare yourself to me!” Cuchulainn laughed. “I am swift. I am birdlike. I am free.”

“Will you take off that mask?”

“I will take you to the authorities!” Cuchulainn held out the cuffs. “Where you will no doubt suffer at their corrupt hands.”

“You wouldn’t!” said the boy. “I know you have a conscience, Cuchulainn.”

“I am not Cuchulainn!” Cuchulainn whined. “And it is not my conscience that succumbs to dark deeds!”

“All I did was cross the street.”

“A street the Red Hound has sworn to protect!”

“The Red Hound?” the boy repeated. “Is that what you call yourself?”

“Do you like it?” asked Cuchulainn. 

“I do. It’s badass.” 

“Why, thank you, I -” Cuchulainn stopped himself. “I say! Flattery will not help you!”

The boy noticed someone riding by on their bike. “Hey, no helmet!”

And, in a flash, the Red Hound was on the rogue cyclist’s tail, traffic be damned.

“I say, halt!”