“Cuchulainn!” said the librarian. “You’re soaking wet!”
“I saw him!” said Cuchulainn. “The masked hero they call the Red Hound!”
“Isn’t that you?”
“It is not me!”
Lightning and thunder hit the streets outside. The librarian peeked out the window. “Well, what happened? Did he beat you up?”
“You take me for a criminal?!” Cuchulainn shouted. “The Red Hound is my hero! Today he saved me from a common mugger.”
“You were mugged? Are you ok?”
“I tell you, I was saved!”
The librarian squinted. “Cuchulainn, we’re talking about the guy in the bandanna? I know that’s you.”
“He is not me! Will you listen?”
“It’s just that you wear that bandanna around your neck half the time.”
“Shut up!” said Cuchulainn. “Now, do you wish to hear the story or not?”
“Of course,” she said. “What happened?”
“I was carefully counting a thousand dollars cash in the park and -”
“Well, no wonder people are trying to mug you!”
“Will you listen to me?!” Cuchulainn began to act out the story, “A young ruffian passed me, and I said, ‘I say, my lad, do you mind reading the time on my diamond-encrusted wrist watch?’
“‘Read it yourself,’ said the ruffian.
“I said, ‘Lo, I am but a waif, and I cannot read clocks.’"
“Is that true?” asked the librarian.
“Be quiet!” said Cuchulainn. “Well, the ruffian, of course, took this as his opportunity to strike!”
“He attacked you?” asked the librarian. Thunder sounded outside again.
“Not before the Red Hound appeared!”
“Why did he appear if the guy didn’t even touch you?”
“Well,” said Cuchulainn. “I could see it in his eyes, you know! He wanted to.”
“Where was the Red Hound? Where did he come from?”
“Why are you not excited for me? I witnessed greatness!”
“Ok, well what did he do to this guy?”
“Gave him the beating of his life!” said Cuchulainn. “And tied him to a fence.”
“Jesus! “ said the librarian. “Is he still there?”
“It sounds as if you care for this ruffian like he was the one being mugged!”
“Well, if any of this is true, it sounds to me like you were just profiling people at the park and assaulting them in your mask.”
“It is not my mask!” Cuchulainn shouted.
The librarian waited.
“Fine!” said Cuchulainn. “I will go untie him. Mayhaps the Red Hound went too far.”
He went out into the rain and put his bandanna back on. The thunder roared again.
“Hey, Cuchulainn,” said a passerby.
“Damn it!”