A few of the children were frightened. Most of them were bored. No one cared about the art of clowning, least of all Stinko, the clown himself.
He was dying for a proper drink and working up courage to ask to leave the party early when the doorbell rang.
The mother answered and Cuchulainn pushed past her, disrupting the scene.
“Stinko!” he said. “I have come to settle our feud.”
“What the hell are you doing here?” Stinko tried to keep quiet. “I'm working.”
“No!” said Cuchulainn. “You must duel me!”
“Hahaha!” Stinko improvised. “Kids, this is my partner, Kooky. He's an angry clown!”
“Where's his make-up?” said the birthday boy.
Cuchulainn ignored this, yanking off Stinko's glove and slapping him with it.
“Et tu, Stinko?”
“Dude,” said Stinko, “can't this wait? Whatever it is.”
“Why am I not surprised,” said Cuchulainn, “that you know not your own betrayals!?”
He slapped him again. “We must end this today! Where does this ugly family keep the pistols?”
“Oh god… Hahaha!” Stinko tried his best to play it off. “The water pistols! We can't have a water-fight inside, Kooky!”
“Then kitchen knives will have to do!” said Cuchulainn. “I cannot believe your gall!”
Stinko rushed behind him to the kitchen. Unfortunately, the children were now enthralled and followed, too.
“What are you talking about? What did I do?”
“My Uncle says you still have not followed Sugar's Instagram pages!” Cuchulainn found two knives in a drawer. “Well, you have had your chance! Now one of us must die this day.”
“Your dog's Instagram?” said Stinko. “That's all this is about?”
“You know what it means to her!”
“But I did follow it!”
“Not her costume account!” Cuchulainn hissed. “Now choose your weapon!”
“We're not dueling, dude!”
“Take the blade, clown!” Cuchulainn forced a knife into Stinko's hand. “And attack me!”
●
The birthday boy's father was badly wounded trying to break up the fight. Cuchulainn and Stinko were both arrested, but Stinko was ultimately charged with the stabbing. Cuchulainn allowed him to be defended by his talented lawyer if he agreed to follow Sugar's costume account. The judge followed it, too.