“Stop!”
The nanny rushed to push the stroller through the red light. Cuchulainn watched the traffic. His bandanna was hiding his face. He waved his little stop sign.
“I didn’t know they had crossing guards here,” said the nanny. “Thanks, Cuchulainn!”
“I am not Cuchulainn!” said Cuchulainn. “I am the Red Hound!”
●
Cuchulainn approached a young woman in the park. “Stop!”
Her dog looked up, embarrassed. She backed away from the little stop sign. “What the hell?”
“You must pick up your pet’s droppings!” said Cuchulainn.
“I’m going to!”
“Guilty until proven innocent!” Cuchulainn shoved the stop sign back in her face. “I demand to see the bag!”
She presented a little roll of bags. “Look!”
“I must still see you clean it up,” said Cuchulainn. “Anyone can carry a bag.”
“Oh, go home, Cuchulainn!”
“I am not Cuchulainn!”
●
“It’s none of your business!” said the old man. “It’s my lawn!”
“Stop!” said Cuchulainn.
“Will you put that damn sign away! And take off that stupid mask, Cuchulainn!”
“I am the Red Hound!”
The old man shut the door in his face.
“Stop!” Cuchulainn shouted. “You get out here and cut the grass!”
He pounded at the door but got no answer. The mail carrier came from across the street.
“Morning, Cuchulainn!”
●
“Name for your order?” asked the barista.
“The Red Hound!” said Cuchulainn.
He heard a girl’s voice at the other counter. “I said I’m not interested!”
He turned to see a man standing imposingly close to her. “Stop!” Cuchulainn raised his sign.
“Is this man soliciting something?” he asked.
“Hey,” said the man, “it’s fine!
“It is not fine!” said Cuchulainn. “This young lady is minding her business, and you come along and offer god knows what, probably a ride in your cretinmobile, or a night in your opium den! I am telling you to stop!”
“You wanna talk about this outside, kid?”
“The Red Hound!” said the barista.
Cuchulainn ignored them and flashed his pocket knife at the man. “I will cut you open like a fresh fish right here.”
The man backed away and scoffed at the girl.
“The Red Hound!”
“And stay away!” Cuchulainn shouted.
“The Red Hound!”
Cuchulainn took his coffee. “He is lucky I spared him.”
“What a creep,” said the girl. “Thanks, Cuchulainn.”
“Damn it!”